2008 Reviewed

All the important things that happened in 2008, according to me.

January: Ah...sweet, sweet January. We started it off with a bang at the Rockbar - I was carrying around my own bottle of champagne. The snow is always better in January and the cold keeps the tourists out, save MLK weekend. Nothing shows your respect for a fallen hero like skiing a few days. But here was the big news of Jan 08: ATX was officially founded on January 26, 2008 with Rokken Winter Formal. Crazy to think that an idea to throw a little party resulted in a community of 150+ Denverites making a difference in the community. And a few big parties. Gatorade G2 was actually released in 2007, but I fell in love with it on the 27th. Apple unveiled the MacBook Air, giving mac heads one more reason to feel the need to put apple stickers on their cars. Oh yeah, and Heath Ledger died too.

February: I didn't take any pictures. None. I just looked on my computer and there are no pictures from February. Oh wait, never mind - found some. The government announced a $168 Billion stimulus package that apparently didn't work. I still did, though. But do you know who didn't? The writers in Hollywood. The big strike ended in February and TV became less shitty.

March: We had an unseasonable fantastic Spring in Denver - with weekend days filled with sunshine and bocce at Wash Park. I started training for my summer bike rides - for the first time actually being serious about it. One of my friends said that I would become addicted...little did I know he was right. The mountains retained the snow and the spring breakers came out to play. For us, this means that we get to make snide remarks about all the gapers wearing the wrong clothes on the slopes. Backwards baseball hats, camo, jeans, Starter jackets - all awesome.

April: Things actually happened in the real world in April, so I don't have to rant on about fun Denver stuff to fill the space. Charlton Heston (aka "Moses") died, which was a big deal because nobody thought he would. And it wasn't from a gun shot wound, so suck it anti-gun activists. The first fight on the (drama-free) front porch occurred due to the "pregnant man." Here is the deal people: Men don't get pregnant, men can't get pregnant. Just because you "declare" yourself a man doesn't make you one. I can declare myself a 7 foot tall black man, but they still wont let me play in the NBA. Hillary Clinton made news because she drank a little whiskey. If I made the news every time I drank whiskey...well, I would be in the news a lot.

May: Sex and the City the movie was released in theatres, and grossed $55.7 Million in the first three days. None of those dollars were mine. The first ever officially sanctioned Lucha Libre match in the United States was held, and I was there to witness it...thus ending everyone's favorite dinner topic "When the hell are they going to let those crazy masked guys wrestle in the States?" ATX had its first fundraiser - and while most organizations have dinners and galas, we decided that a bike pub crawl and date auction would be a little more fitting. It was a success and you will probably see another in '09. And the Stone Temple Pilots played together for the first time since 2003 - the hardest part was sneaking Scott Weiland out of rehab for 6 months.

June: Cycling season was in full effect, and I had two races in 4 weeks. Just six months after its inception, ATX formed a charity cycling team that raised about $14,000 for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. So in one weekend the NMSS gained $2.9 million, and I lost nine pounds. On the other side of things, I broke a personal record: On June 21, 2008 I had a beer at 7:30am while fishing. Earliest beer ever.

July: Its official - the best way to honor the tenets of Democracy, the ideals of freedom, and the hope of utopia is to get drunk and blow stuff up. God Bless America. Randy Pausch died in July, who actually became famous because of his pending death. If you haven't seen/heard his last lectures from Carnegie Mellon, you should.

August: Scientists announced hurriedly that the world was dying as they ran frantically from their respective research centers. Chaos ensued...but it just turned out to be a solar eclipse, no big deal. Isaac Hayes, who was once known as a renowned R&B musician, died and was remembered only as "Chef" from Southpark. Whoops. ATX held its second major event called "SummerWeen," you know, like Halloween but in the summer. We expected less people than Winter Formal, but ended up with almost double the numbers. ATX is contagious. The Democratic National Convention conveined in Denver and officially announced Barack Obama as its candidate. People came from all over the country to invade the city, smell like BO, and protest and rally for no good reason. Oh yeah, and I think there were some speeches or something at some point. And once again the world set aside its differences for two weeks while the heroic athletes competed in the Summer Olympics in Beijing. The most notable athlete from the Games was Michael Phelps, who won eight gold medals in various swimming events. People became infatuated with Phelps and his diet, consisting of 12,000 calories a day when training...which isn't a big deal if you have met my brother Craig and seen him eat.

September: The big news was on the cover of People Magazine: Clay Aiken is gay. This was almost as shocking as Sheryl Swoops coming out in '05. C'mon America - this is neither news, nor a surprise. Paul Newman passed away and took his Own recipes with him. I guess Ill have to start making my own salad dressing. Also, I expanded my liquid snobbery to include coffee after I discovered the Clover Coffee Machine. If you haven't had a cup, tough shit: Starbucks bought out the company so that nobody could enjoy it. Hooray for corporate expansion and corporate fascism.

October: The American Judicial System finally righted itself: OJ Simpson was found guilty of trying to steal his own stuff back and sent to jail. Mr. Simpson became famous during the California v. Simpson case in 1995 where the legal precedent was set to make brutal double homicides legal once again. Also, my brother set another precedent by declaring the third week of October as his "birth week."

November: Barack Obama made history by being the first black person to be elected President of the United States. Fred Armisen (of SNL) made history by being the first white person to impersonate the first black person to be elected President of the United States. I made history by being the only person in the country that didn't care what color/race/gender the President is. More importantly, I made my first Turkey this Thanksgiving. It was big. It was delicious. It was so delicious, in fact, that three vegetarians decided it was okay to let it slide for a day. God Bless meat.

December: My dad gave my stepmom a pair of Sarah Palin glasses for Christmas. She might not have been the best running mate, but her choice of eyewear is stunning. Somebody stole $2 million worth of stuff from Paris Hilton's place, boo hoo. And I managed not to step outside on Christmas day. After deciding to skip one of my ski trips, I ended up back in Denver for New Years Eve and did the countdown at the Rockbar. THUS book-ending 2008 getting sweaty on the dance floor at a shady bar in a motel on Colfax. God, I love this town.

See ya in '09.