Maybe I don't...

...believe in Karma. I don't know, maybe I do. Maybe all those bad Karma points are getting cashed in right now. You know, from highschool.


Its not so bad, but...I feel like I try to do the right thing. Try to treat people well. Give back to the community. Chase fulfillment rather than the dollar. All that stuff. But what happens? Somebody goes and hits my car in the middle of the night. No note. Just some dents, scratches, and a little gift of a broken tail light.








I feel like the guy in Always Sunny on the easy chair.


And me being me and believing in my local police department, and believing that those forensic science police detectives - I thought the fuzz would love to come over with white gloves, cameras, plastic bags and do some of that cool CSI shit. Nope, I actually filed my report online. I doubt any human being will actually even read that report.
Anyways, if you are reading this, you just received 10 of the Bad Karma points from my account. Asshole.

I have a few pieces of good news, though:

1. I am the proud leasee of a ski condo in Frisco for the season. 3 stories, sleeps 12, and has an indoor hot tub on the bottom floor. If you need me between this Wednesday and the end of April, Ill probably be there.

2. It might officially be fall, but its still warm and sunny here in Denver. Cycling season might have ended, but we are still spinning. Spinning. Spinning.

3. The Frogs were in the top 25 this week. And they cant take this week away from us...

4. I have car insurance.

5. She likes home brewed beer.

And now for your moment of zen:

Right before bed...

...every night when I was living in Georgia I went on a walk. Usually about an hour. I lived out in the middle of the woods, away from any signs of society and prosperity - so the only thing I had to worry about was bears. Although I am still pretty sure that no bear ever came near me, the deer used to startle me often. Those guys are pretty used to having people close-ish, so they wouldnt react until you got REALLY close, then they would let out one quick breath and take off running. No matter how many hour long walks I went on, every time I thought it was mama bear ready to maul me.
Funny thing is that I knew that as soon as I left the North Georgia mountains, I would miss that walk. Bear-fright and all.
What sparked that nightly walk was a conversation that I had with a friend of mine - we promised eachother that we would take a walk every night and think, ponder, pray about something as we walked throught the darkness. Darkness is a funny thing - although unnerving at times, it is also soothing and free of distractions. With the exception of the snorting does, of course.
When I moved to Denver, I didnt think Id ever have that silence, that solitude, that darkness anymore. I kind of gave up. I nixed the nightly walk.
Tonight I walked. Walked through the urban jungle. Walked alone. Although, some things have changed. The situation that I was pondering in Georgia ceases to exist. The bears and deer live far outside of my newish realm. The darkness has been replaced by halogen street lamps.
But solidute still exists in this urban wilderness I live in. Its not all-encompassing like the woods of Georgia. But now that I know my neighborhood, now that I know the traffic patterns, now that I fear strangers like I feared the bears, some things seem remote again. I can walk on a street that isnt a major thoroughfare. I can be on my toes waiting for street people. I can talk with myself and not fear onlookers. Onlisteners.
Tonight I found that I am still in the wilderness. Things havent changed, I have. But I can still find that same solitude, I can still find that same conversation, I can still find that same stillness. In the middle of the city.

I went to...

a wedding tonight. Yes, on a Wednesday. Most people do the traditional Saturday, and an unorthodox non-traditional Sunday wedding happens from time to time. But tonight, tonight was untraditional as it comes.

Our "Fearless Leader" Brad is in charge of the Denver Cruisers ride every Wednesday night. Last year he met a girl on the ride that he was digging on. This year he asked her to marry him. They got married in the Circle of Death. You might think that this was a bad idea, but alas, I have some thoughts on this:

1. A marriage is a celebration of the union of two souls. A party. You may have not ever read the Bible, but I have - and here is the kicker on marriage: Its supposed to be a party. A good party. Hence, Jesus' first recorded miracle: He turned water into wine. At the end of the party. And it wasn't Franzia...it was the good stuff. Jesus said, "Hey guys, crank up the tunes, grab some more drinks, and lets do the Electric Slide a few more times...lets celebrate." Okay, I might have been paraphrasing, but you now get the point.

2. Ive been to some big weddings, but this one won. 400 plus people. A testament to the effect that Brad and Erin's reach on people. All on bikes. All in costume.

3. The guy officiating the marriage was dressed in a Moses costume, complete with robe, cane, and full beard.

It was a beautiful celebration. There were people from all walks of life there. All social demographics. Democrats and Republicans. Rich and poor. Straight and Gay. Hipster and preppy. All there to celebrate a marriage. No pretensions. All celebrations. There wasn't a need to reserve the most perfect chapel. There wasn't a need to reserve the most perfect reception hall. There wasn't a need for anything other than friends and good times. And, I mean, Devotchka played, how cool is that? Better than an old lady behind a organ anyday.

Isn't that how its supposed to be? When did it become a fiasco with bridezillas? When did bridezillas become so socially acceptable that a TV show was dedicated to them? When did it become okay/acceptable to spend more than a years' salary on making the wedding "perfect"? As far as I am concerned, tonight was perfect.

Cheers Brad and Erin. Best of luck. May your union last as long as good times exist.

The bridal procession:

The wedding procession (who needs limos?)

You might not...

...believe it, but I am a responsible person.

That being said, lets look at some highlights from this week:

Monday: I got my car exhaust inspection and brakes worked on. Now I am a little more confident that when I am cruising down the mountain this winter I can come to a complete stop. Not sure, but confident.

Tuesday: Had a couple of surgeries in the morning that should have been done by noon, didnt leave the hospital until 6. It happens.

Wednesday: Sat at my desk a lot and did things. Thats what grownups do. But then I negated all of my grownupness and went on the Denver Cruiser ride dressed as Goose from Top Gun. I WAS wearing my helmet, so I guess I get some grownup points back.

Thursday: I donned my man-clothes and played rep at a Interventional Radiology surgery. Then I ditched said man-clothes and took an afternoon bike ride with Brett and Hubbell. Somebody needs to tell those guys that they can breathe easier and ride faster if they would shut up. Then I went to the Little Lebowski's kickball game and proceeded to almost beat some dude up. Lesson be learned guys, never tell my brother to f&*k off when I am within earshot. Oh, then dont then ask me if I want to fight, because my answer will most definitely be "Absolutely."

Friday: Spent a little time with my dear old friend Catherine and her new hubby, then was treated as a chauffeur by somebody who shouldnt have treated me as a chauffeur. Long story.

Saturday: I had a 5 year old bottle of Avery Reverend. Incredible. Dont ever tell me that wine is more complex than beer. Because I will tell you that you are wrong.

Sunday: Long bike ride. Tried a new recipe that my dear friend Giadia DeLaurentis taught me (I think she has a crush on me, to tell you the truth). Took a nap while watching pro football.

JD in the infamous Circle of Death.

You might not...

...know this, but we won Oktoberfest at Vail this year. You didnt know it was a competition? Sure it is. To calculate your score you take the amount of German beer that you drank, multiply that by the minutes that you danced, give yourself a bonus point if you participated while missing a front tooth (congratulations Neff!), add up the number of sunny days, include the number of kegs you knocked off in keg bowling, and there you go. Bonus points for: pole dancing, taking your pants off, beautiful hikes, and "acquiring" beer tokens. Deductions for: not showing up at all, drinking American beer, "paying" for beer, and not wearing socks when you go hiking.

I calculated our team score and we won. Big. I would like to thank Neff for his contributions of knocking his front tooth out for the bonus points, as well as coming in 2nd place in keg bowling. Craig did a bang up job dancing and taking his pants off in the middle of Vail Village. I brought my A-game with pole dancing and getting free stuff. Sarah nearly cost us the championship by not wearing socks on the hike, but she's a chick - you cant really expect her to carry her own weight. At least she was wearing her brand new hiking slippers. Ha.

There were some afterbars involved, I think. But the night ended up just as it had last weekend after Brew at the Zoo...in a king sized bed with lots of people. Weird, I know. But we were all clothed. I think.

Here's big Stewart Neff bringing the pain. He won a free pair of Wolverine Boots this weekend (bonus points for free stuff).

And Craig doing his signature dance, the C-Walk (which, as far as I know, stands for "Craig Walk").

Prost.

I took a...

...4 hour nap on my love seat today. And I was in a funny position. But I could have slept in a bathtub in a dirty motel after today - Today being the unofficial official last bike race of the 2008 Season. The Buffalo Classic was this morning and I rode it solo, save for running into my friend Jenny at the start gate and seeing her at the checkpoints. So instead of being the clydesdale of my ten man (er, I mean ten person) team, I was blocking wind for complete strangers. It seemed that every time I looked back to check for cars there would be 4 or 5 people in my draft. Oh well, somebody has to do it. Here is a little recap:

Miles 1-20: "Holy s&*t, its cold. Maybe I should have worn more clothes. Brrr."

Miles 20-40: "You know, this isnt so bad...Im keeping a good pace. Its getting warmer. The sun is fantastic. There is a fantastic ratio of beautiful, lean cycling women out here. Today is going to be a good day."

Miles 40-60: "Whoa, is THAT the hill that we have to climb? Why do I have racing gears? I want a little ring. Its getting warm. At least they have bagels and nutella at all the checkpoints."

Miles 60-70: "S$*t. S*%t. I have to climb that hill AGAIN? I want something other than bagels and nutella."

Miles 70-80: "Could somebody please turn the wind off? Thanks. My underparts hurt."

Miles 80-90: "Barbecue sandwich, barbecue sandwich. Barbecue sandwich. Barbecue sandwich. Barbecue sandwich..."

Miles 90-95: "Okay, Im only 10 miles away. Walk in the park. I wonder if they are going to have barbecue sandwiches at the finish line."

Mile 96: "Hello cow. How are you? Why wont you answer me? You know, they make barbecue sandwiches out of people like you. I need to ride with other people."

Miles 97-99: "I want to go home."

Mile 100: "What the hell? Where is the finish line? I want my barbecue sandwich. I cant feel my legs."

Mile 100.84: "Ahhhh. No barbecue sandwiches? Pasta and meatsauce...whatever. Ill eat anything as long as it isnt bagels and nutella."

Distance: 100.84 miles

Avg Speed: 18.2 mph

Top Speed: 49.1 mph

Time: 5hrs 45min 12sec

This video shows how nice and smooth the ride looks. Notice: they did not show any footage of the climbs. I guess they want people to participate next year.

And as you can see here, our ascents were a little hairy at Carter Lake and Horsetooth (twice).

Well, lets put the bikes away and get the skis tuned up.

Its funny when...

...you mix zoo animals, carousels, beer, and people drinking beer. Really funny. I think I might have peed on a penguin.

The Brew at the Zoo was yesterday, and a friend of a friend of a friend that knew a guy that bought a car from Mountain States Toyota hooked us up with a few tickets. A few memorable things happened:

1. We actually convinced Stewart to ride his bike somewhere.

2. This was a classy deal - everyone received GLASS tasting mugs.

3. My glass tasting mug somehow ended up broken in the basin of a urinal. Whoops.

4. Craig was out of town, but somehow I was pouring beer for the Wynkoop. I told people that the Silverback Porter was actually brewed by gorillas on loan from the Denver Zoo. Some people actually believed me.

5. Stewart, Gideon, JD, and I decided it was a great idea to ride the carousel right before closing time. Afterward, I got on the microphone and said something to the entire carousel crowd. I hope what I said was nice.

6. After all this fiasco, somehow I ended up at the Rockbar to finish up the night.

Good thing I took it easy this weekend...I have a 100 mile bike race tomorrow. And I have to leave in 5 hours. Whoops again.

Sorry, I have to give you one more...listen for Neff's commentary. I'm suprised that he didnt say, "That osterich is a living legend."

The communists are...

...finally gone. I'm not going to delve too much into politics - but this conversation actually happened more than once last week after the Obama acceptance speech:

Obama Supporter and general Idealist: "Did you watch the Obama speech last night?!"

Myself and general Realist: "Yup."

OS: "What did yout think?"

Me: "Well, Id like to think I have an open mind and I am really approaching this whole election without leaning toward one party or another. I think Obama's speech was perfectly practiced sophist rhetoric. All of his ideals and goals were lofty...and unacheivable. Well, at least 90% was unacheivable. I wish that it was possible to do all the things that he said he would do, but there is no possible chance on this planet that he could actually do what he promised to do. I wish I could believe him, but being a Realist, I had a hard time not immediately recoginzing every impossible goal. Does that make sense?"

OS: "Yes, completely. I noticed that too...but isnt he a WONDERFUL speaker? I cant wait to vote for him."

Me: "Good luck."

You know who else was a great speaker? Hitler. I guess Ill have to watch a little RNC coverage, too. Dammit.

That being said, I left as soon as I possibly could and headed to the mountains with friends. My buddy Chris Baumgartner has a house, along with 9 others, in Nathrop, CO on the Arkansas River. Yes, ON the Arkansas. Private access. I fly fished with Matt (while Brett fished with spinner bait...in a bathing suit and Chacos), drank whiskey, and slept under the stars. Rinse, repeat. Also, while most of the houseguests went rafting, I took a few friends up to Frontier Ranch and showed them a little taste of what I did during the summers in college and the two years afterwards. Not only was it a joy to be able to show them around property and explain why everything was so spotless, but it made me think about why I really lived on those properties, and why I left. And maybe how I wasnt ready to.

Nevertheless, I shot 3 under on the front 9.

Afterwards we had a legendary steak dinner at the legendary Quincy's. 14 filet mignons, salad and baked potato, and quite a few mixed drinks: $210. Um, excellent. Then we hit up Cottonwood Hotsprings, which is apparently NOT clothing optional anymore - nevertheless excellent.

The unfortunate thing about Labor Day is that you have to actually labor on Tuesday. For me, I ended up working about 13 hours. Thats okay because after work I stumbled upon something and realized that...

I've found the...

...perfect cup of coffee. Seriously. And NO, its not Starbucks. Well, not for now.

Clover Coffee. Its not a roaster, its not a coffee shop, its a machine. An $11,000 machine that makes drip coffee. Sort of drip coffee. It looks like something from the USS Enterprise, there are pistons and hydraulics, its digital, and it makes one cup of coffee at a time. Seriously, find a shop anywhere within 30 minutes of you that has a Clover, go there, drink coffee. Repeat.

BUT DO IT SOON. Starbucks, in their infinite wisdom, budget, faux non-corporateness, and overroasted beans, bought Clover. Supposedly they are going to roll out Clover machines in their stores, but they dont have to. They most likely will pull a corporate-asshole move and just keep the beautiful things off the shelf so that people wont be able to enjoy a $2 cup of coffee that is (way) better than theirs. Even if they do, they will use the sour and bitter overroasted Starbucks beans in it and the coffee wont be as good as a local roasters'.

Thanks to The Red Trolley in the Highlands in Denver for giving Craig and me a cup...and a cup of homemade icecream...for free. Hooray freegans! Seriously, they have Wynkoop Rootbeer on tap and they have a 4:00 to 6:00 Happy Hour with $2 Rootbeer Floats. Go and enjoy.