I might be...

...a snob of sorts. A beer snob, obviously. A coffee snob, perhaps. A ski snob, most definitely.

Here are a few short rules/suggestions to follow if you do not want to look like a goon:

1. We know where you are from. I can especially attest to this, because I used to be one of them. I thought "I can ski real good, watch how fast I can go." Therefore, you dont need to boast your home-location...we already live in Colorado and you cant beat us.

1a. Therefore, if you wear a one-piece camo suit on the mountain, you dont need to wear a Nebraska beanie...we already know you are from Nebraska.

1b. If you are wearing scotch-guarded jeans, you dont need to wear a Texas A&M Starter Jacket. You can donate that back to 1991.

1c. If you are wearing Adidas wind pants over your jeans, and a backwards white cap, you dont need to wear your University of Kansas hoodie.

2. I understand that ski clothes can be expensive, but it is time to let go of your tights. Having anything tucked into your boots in uncomfortable, as well as unfunctional.

3. Yes, unbuckling your boots can be more comfortable when you walk. But please, avoid the pant-bunching at the top of your pants and just pull them over your boots. Thanks.

4. Unless you are on the US National Ski team, you dont need to tuck.

5. If you drop something off the lift (ie: lift map), your decision has already been made for you: ski to where your dropped off your litter, and de-litter.

6. Snow blades are dumb. There is no exception to this rule.

7. Applying grenade stickers to ANYTHING is counter-intuitive. You have paid someone in an office $10 for a sticker that cost $1. You have done something because someone else has done it (have you ever seen how many grenade-stickers are on car-windows, snowboards, lift poles?). Thus, you are not doing anything counter-cultural, you are doing something trendy.

8. Smoking in lift lines is NOT cool. Ever.

9. You have to ski/ride to learn, you will not get better if you dont challenge yourself. BUT respect the mountain. Do not ski/ride above your ability level, and always ski with a buddy. If I find you waist deep in powder on the back side of something that I hiked 30 minutes to get to, I will help you up. I will also laugh at your 160mm rentals, with your DIN set at 2. I will also tell you that you need to stay on groomed runs, and that you are dumb. But thanks for buying a day-lift ticket to keep my season pass cheap.

10. Rant over. For now.

10a. Note that I have not mentioned anything about snowboarders. This would have to cover an entire blog entry.

Im going to go put my grenade sticker on my car.