Continuing coverage of...

...the DNC here. Of course from a local's perspective. And really, there is no real coverage of the Convention itself, just the craziness that surrounds it.

Its Wednesday, and you know what that means: Denver Cruisers night. You might think that the DNC might have put us on hold for the week. Nope. But it DID put the fact that you have to wear clothes rule-of-thumb on hold. Body paint should suffice. We were almost 200 strong, and apparently this week if you have a gathering of more than 50 people and you dont have a permit - then you are operating an illegal protest and will be immediately arrested. But we werent carrying signs, and the only thing we were chanting/yelling was "Happy Wednesday!" so I think the cops were just relieved to have a little peace. And body paint.

JD (who has, in honor of the DNC, changed his name to John Hussein McCain Denver David Hortel), some other Denverites, and I made it to a couple of stops - then we had the hankerin' for a burrito from Illegal Petes. Its right in the heart of downtown, so we didnt think we could actually score a burrito. After being stopped by some heroic SWAT members because of a "suspicious package" in the road (that they had to BLOW UP, cool) - we made it to IPs. No problem getting in. No line to speak of. Apparently all those uppity DCers and East Coasters think it is improper to eat with their hands. I thought it was properly delicious.

Downtown is an utter fiasco. I feel like a tourist in my own home. At least I didnt have to talk politics today.

Happy Wednesday.

Okay you guys...

...seriously, its time to get out of my city. You don't have to go home, but you cant stay here. Party is over.

I know, I know, Obama isn't speaking until Thursday. BUT there is this CRAZY new invention we have called the "television." It lets you see things from far away. Kind of like a telescope, but is run by lasers, nuclear reactors, and hamster wheels. You don't even have to be in Denver to hear or see him speak - just turn on that little box.

I went down to Civic Center Park today and counted no less than 6 separate groups protesting something today there. They weren't protesting anything that the Democratic Party was doing...just protesting. Its a forum, not a convention. Wait, no, not a forum...its a damn circus. I knew all along that people were going to protest, but what I didn't know that if you are going to be an activist, you have to take an oath never to shower or bathe again. My highschool locker room smelled like the Coco Chanel Gardenia compared to Civic Center Park.

And the police...the poor, poor police. Man, I guess I'm not going to sound too hip when I say this, but those police are really taking a beating. There were 4 bike cops getting a little reprieve in the shade today while being berated by a NORML activist, "Hey man, you cant just come busting down my door and arrest me for smoking pot in my own house, man. I know my rights."

"Well, I mean, we could. But we wouldn't. We have better things to do than bust a little unshaven stoner for smoking a little pot. Go ahead, go home and smoke pot. Please, go home and smoke pot. Just go home." That was the most sensical thing I've heard in a week. Maybe its because you can peg me for a republican from a mile away, or that I merely wasn't carrying a sign or a megaphone...but all the Police have been really friendly and kind with me all week. Hats off, Denver Police - thank you for doing your job and keeping us all safe.

And here is the real reason, the real cause of my discomfort: I couldn't get a beer at the Wynkoop today. I cant get a beer at the Wynkoop all week, its rented out. BUT I could get a beer at the Great Divide, thank God.

So, I'm not...

...the biggest supporter of Democrats. Generally, I think that the general populous has their heads in the clouds. I don't think the politicians do...really on the contrary. I think they are really concerned with helping the common people out. Which is honorable. BUT their constituents don't see the whole picture. Alas, this isn't a political blog...it is an account of my life and all the fun things that happen to me, for the most part. And today - today is no different. The DNC is in Denver this week, and I believe that this week will be no different.

Tonight was the repeat night of the Wig Party. I thought that it would be crazy because it is held downtown, and it happens to be the first weekend of the DNC, so I didn't think that we would be able to get around like we have in the past. Well, I was right.

After paying $4 for a Miller Light bottle, I said "Self, there are a bunch of politicians and lobbyists in town, its time to get some free stuff." And free stuff I got. We pretended to be big wigs in our suits, but we were really just mooching off the government. Go capitalism!

Craig and I planned ahead and wore suits. You might think "Well, I don't really see you two in suits downtown..." Well, I don't either. I saw it more of a "costume" than an outfit. And boy, did it work for us.

For one, we look good in suits. That is not an opinion, its science. Scientifically, Craig and I look good in suits...we can't help it. We DID go to the Wig Party. But then we went to a Jewish Singles art opening. I wore a name tag that read "Shalom - my name is THADEUS." Seriously. Then we moved onto some sort of Congressional Lobbyist party at Tamayo in Lodo. Free booze (Top Shelf) and free food (empanadas made from a little chicken, and a little awesomeness). Craig, Amy, and some other gang rode home, and I went to a jazz bar with a cute congressional assistant (wearing a blue dress) to dance and enjoy. What can I say, I have to show the tourists a little local flare.

I think this week might be pretty good, despite all the democrats.

If I were...

...the king of some kingdom things would be a little different. Well, different from other kingdoms:

1. There would be big walls around the place. I know, this is a throwback to the good old days of yore...you know - Jericho, Rome, etc. Its not original, but nobody does it anymore. And I think its pretty cool.

2. This is really an extension of number 1, but my walls would be surrounded by a moat. Again, oldschool.

3. Every night before bedtime, we would have a cool show like the one I saw tonight: Joe Purdy, Meiko, Jay Nash, and Chris Seefried. Everyone attending would have access to some good beer and some good tunes, and nobody would have trouble sleeping.

4. Meiko will marry me. Seriously: cute. plays guitar. sings like a fallen angel. and is pretty funny inbetween songs (and during songs for that matter). If anybody knows Meiko, please pass these thougts along.

5. Communism. Here's is my take on Idealism vs. Realism: Communism, Idealistically, should work. Realistically, it doesnt - due to the human condition of greed. But its my kingdom, and I say that its gonna work.

6. If you dont pull your weight, we give you 6 weeks and we kick you into the moat. I hope you can swim. If you can swim successfully across, we will give you a second chance...to try a shot at becoming a swim teacher.

7. The women wear sundresses. The men wear three piece suits with hats. Again, my kingdom.

8. We will all eat together every night. No, I wont feed you...you just grab your food and take it into the commons. Oh, and take a to-go with you if you feel so inclined.

9. There will be a brewery...this is part of the communist concept: everybody helps brew, everyone gets beer. Bam, happiness. Maybe this is why the USSR failed...

10. A miniature train with sponsors will run along the top of the city walls, therefore making fajita lunches cheap for everyone.

I dont know, just a thought.

Well, its official...

...we definitely dont know how to throw a party. Im thinking about taking a class or something to learn how. Until then, we will just have to snore throughout our ATX parties.

I remember a few things happening:

1. Lots of pictures were taken. I mean, that was inevitable because a portion of the party was in my studio. But Chris Baumgartner rolls deep with a Polaroid 660, so that helped too.

2. Amy broke her foot. Craig swears that he broke it because "she was acting up." But really Amy just has really brittle old lady bones, and one of her metatarsils broke while she was just walking. Straight. On a flat surface. Girls and their shoes...thats why I always wear running shoes. Always.

3. The taco truck didnt show up to the Great Divide. It was a good idea, but the taco dude apparently had better things to do. Its okay, Craig saved the day and ordered 20 pizzas.

4. We won.

5. I got a free beer at the Bannock Street Garage. Apparently, I just walked up to the bartender and said "Hey, Im the guy that brought the people." It worked.

6. We got some more people involved with ATX. I mean, yes, Summerween was a huge party. Nothing wrong with a huge party. BUT we had a bunch of people there that had never been to any ATX functions and seem excited and interested in doing the community service stuff - so Summerween was a success right there.

7. The Rockbar. Thats all I have to say about that.

You can always...

...go home. And that is what I did last weekend. Usually we try to do all of our work meetings in Colorado. You know, we pick out a nice spot up in the mountains: We ski in Vail in the winter, we raft in Buena Vista in the summer. But this year? Texas. Texas in the summer. The meeting started on Tuesday and lasted through Saturday. That being said...I rolled in on Friday afternoon. I couldnt stand the heat, I left the kitchen.

It wasnt so bad - the other people in the company had meetings all week, went to surgery to further their training, financials, sales calls, etc. I came in just in time to eat dinner at Joe T's and head out to Lake Granbury to play on the lake. Couldn't have planned it any better.

But this is the week of having two full time jobs: ATX SummerWEEN is on Saturday. So I am in the process of collecting money, renting busses, sending emails, compiling guest lists, trying to collect money, emailing people about collecting money, reserving places, calling places, obtaining canned fishing beer, mixing drinks, buying styrofoam coolers, figuring out costumes, prepping costumes, etc. You know, party stuff. I mean, I am excited about the party itself - but what I am more excited about is that more and more people are getting involved in ATX (Awesome to the Max, the Denver Adult Superfraternity). For me, ATX isnt really about the parties, but about the community of 20 and 30 somethings that can all get together and make a difference in the community...all the while having fun. More to come on that...

See you Saturday. Go ATX. Please keep the noise down on Sunday, and get me another Gatorade. Oh, and a hamburger. And some Aspirin.

The hike up...

...to Francie's Cabin was a little tougher than we had all thought. I mean, it IS at 11,264 feet. But once we got up there, things seemed a little easier. A little easier to feel the effects of our refreshments. A little easier to read Cosmo. A little easier to enjoy the view. A few highlights:

1. The "sunset" hike up to Crater Lake. Hey Neff, its a little further than you thought. It turned out to be a "night" hike on the way back. Crossing a stream in the pitch black is a skill that everyone should master.

2. The 6 hour singalong set. You get a little whiskey in me and a crowd, and I will play until the sun comes up. In fact I DID play until the sun came up. Sorry about the love song Natalie...you walked right into that one.

3. Brett's Chicken Surprise. Double Fried Chipotle Fried Chicken with a pound of bacon, some eggs, some hash browns, and whatever else he could find. Wrapped in a tortilla. His best ideas come out at 7:30am. I know that is in the morning, but really...was really late at night.

4. Apples to Apples. Most people play that the best answer wins. But to be fair, we let the worst answer win too. And it helps if you have a Primate card.

5. Naptime. I took no less than 4 naps on Saturday. I think its an all new record.

6. Cosmo Sex Quiz. I learned a lot from Cosmo. And Neff. Between sexual faux pas and text messaging, I think that I might become the new Cassanova. Ladies, I hope that you dont actually believe that those quotes are from actual heterosexual male humans...because they arent.

7. Malt Time. After succumbing to Brad's hankering for a malt, we ate at the A&W in Frisco. The food is so bad (and overpriced) that its not even good hangover food. At least the music is good in there...oh wait, nevermind.